From form3 to form4, I need to admit it, it's a BIG JUMP, I mean like seriously.
When I was form3, there was less stress, like obviously. It's like just the first week of school of my form4 life (16 years old), I can feel there is pressure there... invisible pressure there! One week in school which is 5 days, is like a month...Tough.
Our English teacher (although she's a fucking biatch) gave our class some essay to read, I love this one the most, sharing it here. :)
Letting Out A Bit Of Soul... //Eleanor Chua
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN...
I hereby officially tender my resignation as an adult to-be. I have decided to accept the responsibilities of a 6 year-old again. I want to go to McDonald's and think it's the best place on earth...and nobody would laugh at me for wanting a toy with my Happy Meal. I want to roll in mud and make paper boats to float in the drain after a heavy pour. I want to think M&M's are better than money; because you can eat them. I want to play catch and sit on the swing during recess. I want to paint with watercolors and let my imagination run wild during art. I want to climb on a tree and pretend I'm on a ship with the breeze going through my hair.
I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, addition tables and simple nursery rhymes. When you don't have to worry about failing your add maths paper or merely passing your biology assignment. Why? Because all those things didn't matter, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care. When all you knew was to be happy because you didn't know all things that should make you worried or upset. I want to think that world is fair. That everyone in it is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible.
Right now, I feel that I've matured too fast and know too much. I learned of nuclear war, prejudice starvation and abused children. I learned how easy it was to just create a war over something that could have been solved more diplomatically. I learned of lies, unhappy marriages, suffering, illness, pain and death. I learned of a world where children knew how to kill...and did!!
What happened to the time when we thought that everyone would live forever, because we didn't grasp the concept of death? When all the girls would be princesses that will live happily ever after with all the little boys who are prince charming? When we thought the worst thing in the world was if you leaked you pants in public or didn't get chosen for the school play? I want to be oblivious to complexity of life and be overly excited by little things once again. I want to return to the days where reading was fun and music was clean.
I remember being naive and thinking that everyone was happy because I was. I would walk on the beach and only think about making the biggest sandcastle with the sand between my toes and the prettiest seashell I could find. I would spend the whole afternoon with my best friend to play dress-up and riding my bike. I didn't worry about time, bills or how I was going to find money. I used to wonder about what I'll do if this doesn't work out.
I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of homework, depressing news, gossip, illness and loss of loved ones. I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, imagination, mankind and making another person's life happy by an immature hand-made card. I want to be 6 again.
